It's been awhile...

Yes, it's been awhile since I've written. Had shi+ to do. Reinvention took a breather while I worried about my state of employment and drank some. It's not easy - hence I've given myself an entire year. That and I knew I'd get bored, lazy and sidetracked. Why create impossible goals dependent on personality traits I suck at or don't have entirely? So back to business...

Weight - just as bad. It got better for a bit, then my birthday and Thanksgiving happened.
Hair - better, got longer and found a decent color
Face - don't even go there, going to buy a $200 face cleaner gadget against my entire gall of better judgement. Never doubt the power of clever marketing to even the most skeptical of aging women.
Fashion - a step for the positive - jeans only twice a week, jewelry every day.

So what the hell is this?

This is the weight loss / makeover blog for people who drink too much. I've tried with all my country gumption to identify with the suburban mommy, typical cheeky "get in shape gal" featured in every fitness magazine and website. Tried to get some snappy workout duds, white teeth, a ponytail and some goji berries. But as a cynic noir, this creepy media portrayal is giving me nothing but acid reflux.

I embark on this journey, complacent to failure with a pint o the devil and an asshole smirk.


38-33-39 - - Should I journal meals and workouts? Don't know - no for now because it's too Jenny Yoga.

(Just a note: If I have to rant or rave about whatever, that's probably going to get thrown in here too due to catharsis/creative outlet. Otherwise, I'll just get it off in some self destructive way)

To Floor A Man

I guess the last post may have seemed shallow, but so is my aim (we're allowed every once & again). Feeling Impending Pre-midlife Crisis II, I wish to log it this time...to keep track of purpose, motivation & efforts. Maybe there's someone out there of like mind that can benefit, maybe not.

The purpose is simply to become more attractive and interesting... to cockily raise the confidence bar my squishy ass has been unable to lift lately.

Motivation is the conundrum. It's been somewhere in the bottom quarter of my mental "to do" list for some time. Scout's honor. So I cannot (refuse to) pin the primal need as my inability to keep the attention of an old flame that has turned up recently, but it definitely was the straw that broke the llama's back.

I never will claim to be deep, moral or upstanding so now that it's out of the way, I want to be stacked and ripped and, well, pretty. I'm sure "health and well being" will be great side dishes, but the main course, of course, is my vanity, an entree best served hot.

Day One

The trip begins with background details. I am fueled by adrenaline and male attention. That's my twist on the AA pledge. My first mid life crisis type train wreck eye opener went down at 30 . I'd been dumped by a ridiculously handsome man who in hindsight had nothing going for him besides said ridiculous handsomeness. I went into "40 Something Married Guy" mode, bought an antique sports car, got a huge tattoo and found a boyfriend 8 years my junior. Now, at 35, my car still mostly runs, tattoo has been methodically enlarged and the young man-pet is now my husband.

By this lame and contrived precedence I attest that my acts of reinvention last.

It's time to do it again...